Your performance review includes a section describing in detail all of your annoying personal habits
This includes the way you constantly click your pen in meetings, picking your nose in the elevator, and the fact that you sometimes chew loudly. It’s the reason your performance rating is downgraded from “on track” to “falling behind/needs immediate improvement.”
He or she leaves Post It notes on your monitor that say “I Hate You. Signed, [Your Boss's Name]”
This may seem like a lighthearted, playful gesture, but studies have shown that when a boss leaves a note saying they hate you, signed with their own name, there’s a 1 in 5 chance it’s true.
Your boss “forgets” to invite you to every single staff meeting, and the company holiday party and picnic
All through the year you hear your coworkers talking about the helpful time management seminar from the last staff meeting, or that hilarious thing Jason from IT did to Mike from Finance with the ketchup bottle at the company picnic, and you realize that the invitations to those events never showed up in your email or mailbox. If you confront your boss directly, she’ll deny having excluded you, saying it must have gone to your spam folder, or that everyone knows the mailroom guy is a total stoner jerkoff who should be fired.
When you walk up to your boss’s office door, he picks up the phone as soon as he sees you, and starts pretending to talk to someone
As soon as you appear in the doorway, your boss grabs the handset of his phone and says, “So, Pete, about that RFP we were discussing. I have a long list of questions for you that will probably take at least an hour and a half to get through. Maybe two hours. Definitely until lunchtime, if not longer. You OK with that? You are? Great!” Then your boss then looks at you and shrugs his shoulders to say, “Whatever you need will have to wait; this is has to take precedence.”
During fire drills, your boss tells you it’s OK for you to stay at your desk and work instead of practicing how to evacuate the building in the event of an emergency because your work is so vital to the success of the organization
This one is really subtle. It sounds like he’s doing you a favor, not making you get up and walk down fifteen flights of stairs, and then having to wait around for the elevator for ten minutes to get back up to your desk. But the day there’s an actual emergency, you’re going to be at the mercy of your boss to know just where that emergency exit is at the bottom of the stairs, and since your boss hates you, he’s not likely to tell you where it is, or worse may intentionally point you in the wrong direction. Don’t be fooled by this one.
When you mention you have weekend plans, your boss asks if you’ll be doing anything that might result in a tragic life-threatening accident
You know what? Forget this one. She’s probably just worried about your safety and well-being.